i want my freedom

i have been "slightly" sick ever since i got back from the States two weeks ago. well, i actually got "slightly" sick when i was still in the States, a few days before i left for Manila. i thought it's just the climate, and that as soon as i got back to the Philippines and got acclimatized again to Manila's tropic temparature, i'd get back to my healthy self. but it didn't happen. i even lost my voice a week after i was back.

so i went to see a doctor early this week. he found my throat infected and swollen, so i got prescribed with 2 types of antibiotics, pills for cough, pills for nasal congestion and an oral antiseptic for throat inflammation. the doctor also gave me a list of food not recommended for consumption. i am forbidden to eat anything sweet, drink anything that's iced, take anything salty and a lot more. now i can take that. what i cannot accept is that i am not allowed to drink coffee for one week, because he said coffee aggravates the irritation of the throat.

when he said that, i felt like he just told me i'm dying. call me an addict, but i actually bargained with him about the coffee prohibition. but he said that if i want to get well i should follow his prescription.

this is no exaggeration...but when i got home, i actually took all my coffee varieties (i got a lot from the States) aside and just stared at them for about 5 minutes with a heavy heart. then i got all my 4 coffee machines together..yes four coffee machines for different purposes. my ever-reliable programmable 3D drip coffee maker, my single cup coffee french press, my "old" new manual espresso maker that my brother-in-law gave me, and my new Philips Senseo coffee-pod maker machine that Ptr Eric from LA gave me. i said my temporary goodbye speech to them with a promise that i'll see them again soon.

i am now into my fifth day of coffee-less life and i am waiting for the day when i will celebrate my freedom and redemption from the oppression of my enemy doctor. the first days were a lot difficult, i sufferred from upset stomach to severe headache. but the succeeding days were not easy either. it's like life is being sucked out of me. i just couldn't get used to a life without that one that gives you strength and natural high.

sa madaling salita....maawa na kayoooooo....gusto ko na ng kappppeeeeee!!!!

I Am Great

I try to balance my life in the best way I know how. I am all the roles I play and I am so much more than all these roles. I am great. But before you tell me how arrogant I am, let me tell you why I am great.

I am a son. I'm not a perfect son. I can be stubborn sometimes and definitely a lousy son especially when I was a lot younger. But I know, understand, and practice the core values that my parents taught me. I bring those values with me wherever I go. I enjoy spending time with my parents whenever I can. I don't tell them everything but I tell them the most important things. I tell them about my goals, fears, and dreams which are totally different from theirs. I'm grateful to them for all the blessings and direction they have given me all these years. To be grateful is great.

I am a husband. I have been a husband to my wife for many years and our marriage, although not perfect, is one designed by God. One of my friends said that a great marriage is not just marked by the number of years a couple has been together. It is about reaching level upon level of a relationship God himself has designed. I enjoy doing things with my wife as much as I enjoy sharing my victories with her. To enjoy and share things with your loved one is great.

I am a father. They told me that fatherhood is both pain and happiness. So far, it’s all been happiness and I am enjoying it like heaven. The pain is when I have to leave them for days when I am traveling. I play with my kids every moment I can and we have conversation about past, present and future. We enjoy going on a trip and just take a long drive wherever the car will take us. There is no barrier between us because we try to break it by way of showing our love for each other. To be able to relate to them in their level is great.

I am a teacher and a pastor. I try to teach whoever asks me to teach about anything that I know very well. I'd like to teach students in the university someday. But right now, I do things the best I could because I know that teaching is not confined inside a classroom but goes beyond the boundaries , and we teach best by our actions and the examples we set. Teaching is sharing. Teaching is learning at the same time. To teach is great.

I am a student. I'm currently reading a lot because I want to be able learn new things about anything under the sun. I encounter moments where I find myself feeling lazy to do research but I strive to fight laziness. In those moments where I act and move, I learn more. To learn is great.

I am a friend. I give quality time to my old friends and I also welcome interesting persons whom I meet along the way. I always try to spend great times with the people I am friends with. When I open myself to them, I find them opening themselves to me. To remove boundaries is great.

I am a writer. I write when I want to, when I feel I have to, and when I need to. I write whatever whenever. I write shallow things. I write deep realizations. I write insights, ideas, and thoughts. I write on paper. I write on air. I write on paper that I stick on walls. When I appreciate my own writings, they come to life. I am my own fan. To appreciate one's work is great.

I am a dreamer. I dream of doing great exploits for my Lord and King. I dream about giving my children the best things in life. I dream about taking my wife on an extended vacation in Paris and London. I dream in the night and I remember my dreams in the morning. I dream in the morning and I think about these dreams at night. I dream of small dreams and I dream of great ones. To dream is great.

I am a singer. I sing with music during my own quiet time. I sing with music surrounded by other song enthusiasts. My energy together with theirs fills the room. I am not the best singer but I give my best when I sing because I know that my song reaches my God in the heavens. Mostly when I am alone, I am the song and I am the singer. My being able to sing is one gift from God that I am very grateful for. To be able to use my God-given talent for His glory is great.

My greatness comes from various aspects of my life and yet my greatness is more than all of them, because my greatness is conditioned by God’s greatness in my life. I am its unifying whole.

And these, my friends are the reasons why I am great.

happy man....soon.

inspite of wonderful times spent with friends and relatives here in US, i am still a lonely man.

i miss my family so much. borrowing a line from PChad, "i am 1/6" over here...missing the other 5 to make me whole, my lovely wife and 4 wonderful kids.

but i am coming soon my beloved...i am coming soon.